01 ϟ video.

[pits]

Yeah. Soooooo should not have picked a mission who's deal contained food. [ There's a furious roar!! ...But it's just Bart's stomach. ] Can't eat the pickles, don't eat the pickles, I won't eat the pickles.

[ "DON'T YOU EVER LEARN ANYTHING!!" He can practically hear the team's voices now... This is the second mission he's taken that has to do with food. In anguish, Bart holds up an armful of empty jars towards the screen. ]

How did this guy get so many pickle jars?! Hold up, better convo topic time. I have a legit important question, to be answered by you while I sit here, cleaning out pickle jars, so listen up!

[ He's gone through so many jars by now, and he's sort of lonely while he's sorting. Hence why there's an IMPULSE! on screen, the enchanted accessory he'd received placed on a crate next to him so he has both of his hands free. He'd normally have finished this task by now — hours of work would be reduced to maybe a minute for an Allen! But without his speed powers, he's doing things the non-metahuman way. ]

Can someone hook your hermano up with some Chicken Whizees, a-sap? [ From the start of this message until now, Bart's voice has slowly been speeding up. He waves the jar in his hand around as he tries to get the I AM HUNGRY message across. ] Freeze-dried or not, I'm totally desperate for some fast food right about now.

Comments

[drunkenfist]

wtfs a hairmano

[ look she only knows enough spanish to make casual jokes about it like "el sigh", she's not fluent in your weird varied languages ]

1/2

[pits]

[ oh texting... he can do that!!!!! ]

It means broth

2/2

[pits]

[ no he's too hungry for this, he gives up texting halfway. ]

Means brother in Spanish. Super crash language, as far as I know.

[ no he doesn't know anything he just picks up on jaime's lingo... but jaime is crash as anything so clearly it's something bart needs to follow up on. ]

[drunkenfist]

[ wow that was a record ]

afayk?
lemme guess
thats bout all the spanish u speak

[pits]

No way, I know lots.




I just can't think of them right now.

[ He's totally smooth when he's following Blue around, seriously... ]

[drunkenfist]

[ guess who's not buying it, bart ]

....uhuh
im totally buyin this
rly
this is my i so totally believe you face

Video

[conquistador]

( Spain would love to help you hermano but you've gotta speak English first. Or Spanish. Or something he understands. )

Chicken whats?

( Freeze dried? That doesn't sound edible at all. )

Video

[pits]

Whizees! You know, the snacks aired on TV all of the time? Everything's great at your Chicken Whizees! So good you can't eat just a handful? Comes in suuuuper easy-to-scavenge packages?

[conquistador]

Sorry!

( Laughing, )

Have you tried to find a farm? Or a butcher? Maybe you can find your chicken wizards there.

[pits]

Chicken wizards? [ Maybe that's what the owners of Chicken Whizees call themselves. ] I don't know where to find either of those. Buuuut that's a good idea. Too bad it doesn't kill my current hunger issue.

[conquistador]

Then maybe you should finish your task, hm?

( He might be a lazy nation but hardwork is still pretty important. )

But if you can't do it by yourself... maybe you can find help.

[prideinbattle]

I don't want to think about food. I lost my appetite. None of those frogs even turned out to be a prince!

[She's just going to cross her arms and scowl. Only for a moment though. Now she's distracted, wondering what's going on with all those jars.]

[pits]

Frogs? You had to eat frogs? So not crash, unless they were deep fried. Did they come in packages?

[prideinbattle]

No, no not for eating. We were paid to kiss them. I didn't think it would be that bad, but there were just so many. Never again.

[pits]

...Did you at least get good rewards?

[prideinbattle]

500 copper and some mouthwash. I guess it was worth it.

[peachbaths]

[ What's legit mean? And hermano? And Chicken Whizees? But mist importantly— ]

Impulse, what is fast food? I did not know food could travel.

[pits]

Whoah, Kou! You've never had delivery? That's an outrage. Not crash at all. We gotta fix that.

[peachbaths]

I'm not even sure of what you're talking about. Are you saying that you can have food... delivered? Right to your door? [ THAT'S CRAZY ]

[pits]

Yeah, that's it exactly! Any kind of food imaginable, available at your fingertips.

[peachbaths]

So... if I wanted a five-course meal, I could have that delivered as well?

[ what a fatty!!! no j/k it's just an example okay... ]

(text) this will be a substantial thread i'm sorry

[beat]

[ Chicken Whizees? Are we in first grade, Bart. (Not that he knows what those are, because. He doesn't.) ]

gonna need more specifications
i.e color texture and why the hell do they call it chicken whizees
like are they made from actual chickens or what

(video) yes good

[pits]

[ texting still isn't fast enough for him, so he ignores the format change thing. ]

They're pieces of fried chicken, freeze dried in packages. Crunchy, small, fits in your pocket!

[ easy to steal from lockers, too. ]

[beat]

[ Maybe he should suggest robbing a KFC or something. ]

but why would you eat fried chicken cold

[ His poor, southern heart. ]

[pits]

They keep better this way? I dunno, but I'm hooked on them now.