0 ♔ ACTION, VIDEO

[conquistador]

( Spain never asked for his sword to be enchanted to do this magical phantasm thing but it's his sword so he can't really toss it out. Whatever, he'll have a priest exorcise it later. For now, there are more important things to take care of!

In the middle of the Ironwall District, Spain will be creating quite a scene. He's stopping random people and trying to get them to listen to him. Whatever he has to say, it looks like it's very urgent given the way he's acting. )

Hey! ¡Ay! Listen! Are you listening? YOU THERE! Stop what you're doing! This is an important announcement from the Red Dragons!

( Scarlett Dragons, Spain. He'll get it right eventually. )

There's a thief on the loose! A terrible one! And you know who you are.

( Dramatic pause. )

WHY ARE YOU STEALING UNDERCLOTHES?! Stealing isn't very nice, you know! Those underclothes belong to someone else and not you! Why do you even want them? Someone else has already worn them! Turn yourself in or stop right now or else you'll be in trouble!

Comments

[ourparadise]

...[Um. Um. Is everyone in this town a little unhinged?]

I don't know anything about it, sir?

[conquistador]

( Possibly but Spain is just really passionate about this )

... No one has tried to steal from you?

[ourparadise]

...No, no one has tried to steal from me? Um, I'll look for anyone?

[vaporwear]

[Lady Luck's not with her today, definitely. While she's off adventuring and finding information about this place... This just have to happen. Really, WHY is this guy screaming so hard about stealing underclothes? she doesn't even wear a bra.]

Uh...

[Confused, Alisa looks around before she looks at Spain again.]

You... can't possibly addressing me, can you?

[Hint: She's innocent about this but you know it already, probably.]

[conquistador]

( But is she not wearing a bra because someone stole it or because it was her choice. This is very important. )

Oh, I know you aren't the thief. ( No cute girl wold be a thief. ) But it's still important to know that there is one out there.

[vaporwear]

[...Because Ms. Fanservice?]

Oh, I am glad then. [Alisa sighs in relief, before she raises an eyebrow in question.] For real?

action

[beat]

[ Somewhere out in Ironwall, Dave stops to listen to this crazy guy speak. He had actually thought Spain was doing some dramatic poetry reading for money or something, but nah. That would've been too easy. ]

Yo, relax. [ Doing the hand thing. ] They're the Panty Thief for a reason. I'm sure your enthusiasm for spreading anti-perversion awareness is appreciated by many of these young, beautiful women strolling 'round these streets, but you're seriously causing a scene. Stop that.

[conquistador]

( Don't you dare raise your hands at Spain, Dave. He doesn't need to be judged right now... not that he seems to notice. He doesn't seem at all phased by the response, )

And the thief knows he's being searched for. He might stop now.

( Forever optimistic. )

[beat]

I dunno, if I were some masked vigilante with a knack for undergarment theft, I'd be less stupid with my actual thievery. Y'know, now that I've got people preaching the written word this side of Goldvale—thou shall not steal underclothes—I'm pretty sure keeping everything on the down low would benefit me in the long run. Hypothetically speaking.

[volcanic]

[ Of course, the yelling isn't really appreciated on Iceland's end, but once he sees who it is? Back in neutral mode. Oh my god Spain just let the guy run errands, stop being so weird. ]

What're you yelling for?!

[conquistador]

( Only if you let Spain do his job too. )

I'm trying to catch a thief.

[volcanic]

They'll run away if you yell at them, idiot.

★ video

[lovesmash]

Underclothes?!

( shut the front door, what is this crazy guy talking about. )

What kind of underclothes are we talking about here? You don't mean lady's underclothes, right?

( if it were men's clothes she wouldn't care in the slightest-- but an enemy of women... iva won't let this go unpunished!!! )

1/2

[conquistador]

( FINALLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS )

Yes--

[conquistador]

--I don't know?

( Details. )

[warmonger]

[ ...why is this guy screaming in the middle of the street? he spends a few seconds staring at him before it starts to seem like all those accusations are personal. come on, man, he's got so much better things to do. ]

A panty thief? ...So this is the kind of job they pass off to initiates.

[ and who the hell are the Red Dragons? he must be at the bottom of the food chain right about now. ]

[conquistador]

( It's only personal if you're guilty! )

Ay, this is a very important service.

( Gosh. )

action.

[caches]

Huh.

[ gaius is going to have to stop what he is doing to take a look at this riot. whoever this guy is, he's actually curious about what he has to say.

after giving the stranger a few minutes to just.. chill... he'll rear up behind him and give a friendly tap before a loud suck can be heard on the sucker in his mouth. ]

Unless there's more than one panty thief on the loose, I think we're looking for the same guy, pal. Or girl. We can't discriminate.

[conquistador]

( Spain turns around. )

It's a guy.

( He sounds so sure. )

Action

[buildyourworld]

Be quiet! If the thief is nearby, he would have heard you and run away! [Tieria snaps at him, very clearly annoyed with how loud he is. It's annoying enough to be out and about catching a panty thief, he doesn't need his guild mate announcing it on top of his lung.] It's Scarlett Dragons, get the name right already.

[conquistador]

If the one running away is the thief then I'll catch him! ( And beginning to look over the crowd now. Nope, no one is really running. )

... That's what I said.

video

[smellslikerat]

Usually, the intention is to sniff them.

[conquistador]

( Opening his mouth to respond




no he really has nothing to say in response to that.

He's a 16th century conservative nation you can't just drop these things on him!!! )

[tokimemo]

Oh, it's you. [ miss congeniality right here ] Heh, is this your idea of a good tactic?! What's the point of saying that stealing isn't very nice?! Of course that person knows that already! Someone who has forgotten human dignity that much won't be swayed by just your words! Anyone who does something illicit like that is beyond help! [ sena you shouldn't talk don't you basically have a shrine of paparazzi-type pictures of yozora in your room??? ]

[conquistador]

( Wait is Sena the Helga to Yozora's Arnold......... )

I was hoping they would feel guilty and confess. ( It's his upbringing oops. ) And I don't think they're hopeless!

There's always hope, miss.